Comments on: Anyone care to proof read my cover letter for an employment application?

By: Patrick O

Patrick O — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:14:59 +0000

One thing to be careful about:
you don’t want to keep saying that if you don’t know an answer then you will do some research.

it’s fine to mention it once.
But don’t give the impression that you only ever solve a problem by doing research. There are many skills that you have that you can apply without having to remind yourself or having to check online what other people have done.

Also, there is no need for too much personal story. It’s great to say that you love your current job but business is down. That’s really positive and that you get on well with your current workmates. But you don’t have to tell them that you can’t afford to go to college right now. They can’t give you a job from any sense of pity, it must be on merits of your resume and interview.
You don’t have to say ‘please consider this application’ – they will obviously consider anything that gets sent in.

But I do like describing your personality and it does come through and show you in a good light. But less written would make more of a positive impact.
References :

By: Love Canada

Love Canada — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:01:59 +0000

Way too long
Way too much detail
Keep it items you will be using in the new job (not auto repair & cooking)
Don’t even suggest "any equipment that I am not familiar with." even if its true
References :

By: Emily K

Emily K — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:42:59 +0000

Address
City, State, Zip Code
Phone Number
Email Address

Date

Employer Contact Information (if you have it)
Name
Title
Company
Address
City, State, Zip Code

Salutation
Dear Mr./Ms. Last Name, (leave out if you don’t have a contact)

First Paragraph
The first paragraph of your letter should include information on why you are writing. Mention the position you are applying for and where you found the job listing. Include the name of a mutual contact, if you have one.

Middle Paragraph(s)
The next section of your cover letter should describe what you have to offer the employer. Mention specifically how your qualifications match the job you are applying for. Remember, you are interpreting your resume, not repeating it.

Final Paragraph
Conclude your cover letter by thanking the employer for considering you for the position. Include information on how you will follow-up.

Respectfully yours,

Signature

Handwritten Signature (for a mailed letter)

Typed Signature

Now, apply all that you said up there in your questions, to that type of format I listed and you should be okay. I didn’t really care to do it all myself, but the format of the letter is very important. If you want repost another question with some of the sentences and paragrahs that you’re having trouble with, instead of the whole letter… That way more people would be willing to hlep you proof and edit (myself included).

Good luck.
References :
about.com